Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Yes Mr Doorman, I'm A Lady!

I've just read that Usher is planning a ladies only tour. Yes you heard me right, a tour where only ladies are permitted entry.

According to NME "The R&B star is working on a 15-date tour entitled the 'One Night Stand' tour, which will support his album 'Here I Stand'."

He is reported to have said "I feel like I've had such a connection with my audience. This album, I felt like, was definitely the type of one that was more intimate. So what better way to get up close and personal than to make it all women?" "The ladies like to see that masculine build," he said. "They question if I still got it."

Now I can't say I've found myself questioning whether Usher's "still got it" for one moment, quite frankly I couldn't care less! If you are a male Usher fan (unlike Usher, I reckon you do exist) I'm guessing you might be feeling a wee bit put out by Usher's discrimination so I want to provide you with a cunning plan that might help get you into the show.

Now I'm sure it would be against your human rights for the door entry people to go to the lengths to actually check if you're male or female so why not simply dress up as a lady?

Here's some female advice to help you gents 'pull off the look':

1) If you have large hands, try wearing clothes with pockets so you can hide them. Don't wear nail varnish, it really draws attention and gives you away as a man straight away.

2) Don't over do the makeup - it simply makes you look like a man who doesn't know how to apply makeup -go and get yourself a consultation with a beauty therapist -a lot of women do and there's no shame in it.

3) If you are already tall, don't wear heels.

4) Stay clear of leopard skin prints - they don't look good!

Here's a video of Emily Howard showing you how not to do it. Don't think Emily would get into the Usher show, do you?

Good luck, quite honestly you'll need it! ;-)

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